Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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