there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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