dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
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I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
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I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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