he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
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Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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