so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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