i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
