i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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