wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
