Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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