Girls should come with a carfax report
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
