We're facebook friends in real life
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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