we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
