Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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