I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Nicole vs. Life
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The Olympian is in my bed