Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
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If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
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I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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