I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!