I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
They have beer where we have blood.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
