Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
They took my balls.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
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