I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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