Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
