so explain again why im purple
no
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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