I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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