so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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