We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
