On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You are the jesus of drinking
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
