How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
