I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
