the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
