I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm experimenting with sincerity
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
