a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.