Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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