he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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