I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?