After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.