dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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