Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
