420 ftw
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
