he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
