i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
