she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
