ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize