I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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