oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
