Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
