she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
