Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
