she looked like the before picture.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
