but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
love makes seman taste better
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
