At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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