If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
