I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Your penis caused this!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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