i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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