just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
