yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
