i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
