Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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