I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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