dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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