Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You took a bar mat shot.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
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