I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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