It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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