I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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