they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
