Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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