There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize