Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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