Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
