It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
