What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
